How Gourmetten led to the Resurrection of Seashell Jesus and Other Things: A Badass Christmas story

Merry Christmas ya filthy animal dear olde savings and loan blogge!

Oh my, it has been a fun coupla days around Chez Badass – thanks to birthing new traditions, my kids, sparkling cider and help from my badass cousins overseas!

Before I begin this tale, let me fill you in on the origin of the Seashell Jesus, whose picture shall grace this blog in mere moments.

Remember when I told you about cleaning up the hoard and shared a picture of the outdoor storage area? Well, one of the only items that survived the purge of that space was a very colourful, homemade-looking old-schooly picture of Jesus, adorned with seashells. I have no idea of the provenance of this picture – it could have even belonged to one of the many tenants that abandoned their junk belongings on the property – but I just couldn’t find it in me to fling it into the dumpster (#4 or 5, can’t remember which). So Seashell Jesus, as he came to be known, ended up hanging in my old kitchen for about a year.

When it came time to renovate the kitchen, Seashell Jesus survived yet another purge and ended up in a box of other wall “art”, in the boiler room of my building. Until Christmas Eve 2016, that is.

I had planned for weeks already to try a new tradition for my family. The Dutch meal of “gourmetten.” In researching how to pull this off, I came across the following article – Gourmetten” A “gezellige” evening of classic Dutch dining  Very funny and tongue-in-cheek. The author claims that Jesus and his disciples actually “gourmetted” the last supper and there is a picture in the article to prove it. When I told my daughter Mizz J about this, she said Seashell Jesus needed to be part of our Christmas Eve meal. So up from the basement he rose…

Seashell Jesus oversees the abundance of food to be grilled.


Like a good guest, Seashell Jesus also offered something to grill.

When I shared these photos on Facebook to my Dutch cousins, they were not to be outdone.

Jesus (and family!) does gourmetten in Amsterdam on Christmas Day.


Virtual Jesus shows up at my other cousins’ in Breezand.

Suffice it to say, much Facebook merry was made over Jesus being sent on to our various homes to partake of gourmetten.

Meanwhile, in real life, our meal was fantastic.

Let the grilling begin!


Even after all that food there was still room for dessert, obviously.

Before the food coma took a full hold, we cleaned up supper and then got artsy-crafty with it.

Using glitter glue and acrylic paint to make ornaments.


Continuing the creativity on Christmas morning. Glitter glue is mostly dry, so time to pour in the acrylic paint.

After a relaxing day spent on the couch (mostly), Christmas dinner was a clean-out-the-fridge stir fry – liberally doused with left-over satay sauce and served over rice. “Sooooo gooooood”, to borrow a phrase from my Amsterdam cousin.

Gourmetten leftovers make a delicious stir-fry.

And thus, new traditions are born!

Rock your merry little selves on,

The WB




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  • What a fantastic tradition! I wanted to say that Seashell Jesus was maybe a bit tacky, but really the shells are pretty artfully arranged. Someone took a great deal of care. He’s a lucky son of a god to have shared your lovely holiday with you. Merry Christmas!

    • Merry Christmas to you and yours Reticula! Yep, Seashell Jesus is so tacky that he has tremendous appeal to me. I have sent the odd prayer his way when he was hanging in my kitchen, even though I’m not a Christian…in the way the world defines Christians. He’s a good listener, I’ll say that much about him.

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