Welcome to 2019. I hope you are doing better than me – I’m currently fighting off a virus with the help of Tylenol Cold & Flu* (extra strength).
So, while the medicine is making it possible to sit upright and type, I thought I’d share with you what I’ve been thinking and planning for this next turn around the sun.
I’ve decided my word for this year is RECORD. I just don’t do enough of this and I’d like to see that improve in 2019.
To that end, I purchased this uber-cute Hobonichi planner, from Japan:
Hobonichi Techo A6 for 2019 – small enough to throw in just about any purse or tote bag. Filled with beautiful, fountain pen-friendly paper…
I came across a couple of booklets and packs of stickers at Michaels, and used them on the planner to help set my intentions for 2019.
Stickers decorating the inner cover.
And on the other side of the inner cover:
More reminders/inspiration on the flipside.
And here are my intentions, for 2019:
Turning the pages to a new year with new intentions…
My intentions are pretty modest, therefore do-able. I have realized from a couple of months of being on WW that I am not going to lose weight quickly. I was 9.9 pounds down just before Christmas and a bit chagrined to see the scale going down in 1/2 pound increments, week after week. But now I’ve come to realize that this is just how it’s going to be for my age and metabolism. And 1/2 pound per week is 2 pounds per month and that’s 24 pounds gone in a year. Which sounds pretty amazing to me, after all! Attitude: adjusted.
My other intentions include teaching myself how to paint with watercolours, racking up 10K steps per day on my Fitbit, making a record of each day in my Hobonichi (no matter how terse 🙂 ), and tracking my spending.
How about you? Any great plans for 2019?
Rock on,
The WB
*Not a sponsor of this post, although they could should be!
As I am preparing to acknowledge and celebrate the Winter Solstice again, for the 2nd time, I’ve been watching a bunch of YouTube videos on the subject so I get an idea on how this was done historically as well as what people are doing now.
It’s very eye-opening, how many beloved Christmas symbols and practices actually arose from earlier religious practices and were neatly folded into the Christian celebration of Christ’s birth (spoiler: most probably didn’t happen on December 25).
For instance, the following arise from pagan traditions, and were co-opted by Christians:
“Christmas” colours – red, green, gold, silver
Yule log
Wassailing
“Christmas” tree
“Christmas” lights and candles
“Christmas” wreath
Hanging of mistletoe
Don’t get me wrong. I am not knocking Christmas. I grew up with this holiday and have many fond memories of magical Christmases with family and friends. But I’m at a stage in my life where Christmas is more a remembrance of those I’ve lost and as such, more reflective and less celebratory. It’s just not the same anymore. I don’t have any little people in my life right now – and may never have and that’s OK – so Christmas is no longer all that and a bag of chips, for that reason either.
(Plus I’m not a Christian so there’s that. I guess you could say I grew up as a cultural Christian, rather than an observant one. Historically, the Christian religion has only brought strife, division and pain to my immediate family… only my one sister has found any solace in it.)
But celebrating the Winter Solstice really resonates with me. I am becoming more and more tuned to the natural world once again so marking the shortest day of the year and welcoming a new solar year just makes more sense for me than a Christmas or New Year’s holiday celebration.
So I’m busy working on my intentions for the Solstice, and also learning what I can about this ages-old tradition of humans (especially those from northern Europe – the bulk of my genetic background) marking this special time of year.
This week, I was watching a cute video in which a guy played himself and a long-lost Viking explaining how to celebrate Yule. Video ended and I dove into my journal to write some thoughts down. Meanwhile, YouTube cued up and started playing another video (as it does) that I had not selected to view. In it, a cute little 20-something blond girl (hair in a braid, even) is discussing the myths of Santa Claus, etc. Innocuous, right?
Wrong! This video, produced by something called Red Ice TV, quickly devolved into a neo-Nazi, white supremacist rant about how us (Us? Not sure I want to belong, now) “hard-working, resourceful Northern Europeans” have had our culture appropriated by “lazy southerners” (Huh? Code for people of colour and Jews, I think) and we need to take back Yule traditions and make Christmas WHITE again. (Which doesn’t make sense, I know, but that’s what little Miss Hitler said.)
HOLY SHIT! I couldn’t have been more shocked if the video had turned into some wild porn orgy instead. In fact, I could have handled that a lot better than what I saw and heard.
I can’t stop thinking about it and that stuff like that exists on Ye Olde Interwebs, to infect people’s minds with hatred. I mean, I knew intellectually that fake news and hate speech exists in cyberspace. I had just never searched it out or come across it in any way until this week.
And now I feel so dirty.
I’m not going to link to the offensive video, as I don’t want it to get any more views than it already has.
All I can say is: Be careful out there, gentle readers – I’d hate for you to come across vile filth like this.
Not interested in being sexually appealing to anyone anymore, but am def interested in being stronger! Plus, it’s a cute shirt.
When I was reviewing my progress towards my goals way back in September, I realized that once again I had proclaimed I was going to take better care of myself, and once again, I was not doing the same. So I reflected a lot on why that might be so. I mean, I know what I need to do (lose weight and move more), and I certainly know by this time, how to do it. Yet, nothing was happening. Which means two things, to me:
It’s a problem with my head more than my body.
I need help to be accountable to myself, as I have proven over and over again that I can’t stick with it when I try to do it on my own.
I turned to the Tarot for guidance, using my new Simple Tarot deck. I drew a 3 card spread with this question in mind: What do I need to know about starting a weight loss/fitness program?
Card 1 – Do it
Card 2 – Don’t do it
Card 3 – How to decide
Tapping into my own intuitive processes, for clarity of thinking and decision making.
As you can see, the cards told me what I already suspected: I could change my fortune by taking better care of myself or I could anticipate unwanted changes in my health; and the way to proceed forward was by using my intellect to strategically analyze the problem and my options.
So I spent a week or more researching differing ways to achieve my goal. I even drew up a little chart, listing all the ways I could do this across the top (on my own, Noom, Weight Watchers, MyFitnessPal, SparkPeople), and the attributes of each down the side (things like cost, syncing with my FitBit, online vs. meeting options, food and exercise diaries, etc.). Setting up this chart helped dramatically, in being able to see and compare all my options.
After this exercise, it was clear to me that Weight Watchers (WW) was the best option for me, in terms of what I considered important (a physical meeting and weigh-in, syncing with my FitBit, an app on my phone etc.). I was able to tap into a 50% off sale, so I signed up for a 6 month’s membership.
I was kinda surprised by this because, going into this exercise, I was against going back to WW. Decades ago, I went to WW for a long, long time – a long time because I could not hit the lifetime goal weight they had set for me. It took me many months to realize that it was unachievable for my body type, and eventually I had to get a doctor’s note to have my goal weight range altered to be one that was suitable and healthy for me. That left a long-standing bitter taste in my mouth about this program.
Going through the strategic exercise and doing the research on what WW was all about NOW made it the obvious choice, despite my lingering feelings about my past experience.
Seven meetings later (6 weeks on the Freestyle program), I am down just over 8 lbs. It has been quite easy so far. I’m enjoying the app, which even comes with a barcode scanner that tells you the point values of a food product. All of the leaner, healthier foods are 0 points (fruits, vegetables, chicken and fish) and there is literally nothing I can’t eat, if I want to. Which makes the program very easy to stick to. Forgot lunch and need to pick up something through the drive-thru? No problem. Want a glass of wine? No problem. Want popcorn and M&Ms to munch on while attending a screening of Bohemian Rhapsody? No problem.
Obviously I need to be making healthier choices on the regular, but it’s nice to know I can do these other things occasionally (and I have) as well, and still be achieving success in working towards my health goals. Because nothing gets my inner rebel activated faster than telling me I CAN’T do something. 😉
I’d like to need to lose more weight in order to be my healthiest, but for now I am just taking it day by day, week by week, month by month. I’m on a learning journey, I have decided. I haven’t set a goal weight yet – although at my last appointment my doc very kindly and without prompting gave me a note stating what SHE thinks is my healthy weight range – she must have run into the same problems with WW, at some point! I’m prepared to unpack any psychological hurdles that come up as I continue on this path. I’m journalling as these things come up.
For fitness, I am exercising every day via YouTube videos (mostly JessicaSmithTV), walking, and hiking.
And best of all, I’m having fun doing all of these things. There is no hardship involved, this time. Not at least so far. 🙂
Celebrating the solstice with a new candle. The scent is appropriate for the first day of summer!
More and more lately I find I am aligning myself towards the natural world, and the changing seasons. I take great pleasure in and greet with wonder this marvelous planet I reside on, daily. And at regularly occurring natural events like solstices and equinoxes, I like to pause for a moment and take stock of where I am with respect to what I am trying to achieve for myself – my intentions.
It just feels right to me to do things this way, rather than according to a date on a typical paper or digital calendar. This centres me and reminds me of what is truly real, and what are only human constructs.
The world continues to turn; the planet makes regular revolutions around the sun – where am I with my turning in my journey around my life?
I first wrote about my goals for 2018 here, at Yuletide. I updated my progress at the Spring Equinox here.
And here is my assessment of where I am at now, and what has changed in the past 3 months.
Blogging – still managing to blog at least once per week. Hoorah for me! It has been a bit of a struggle, and more so now that the weather is finally hospitable and I am trying to be outdoors as much as possible. There was a good reason my blog went silent almost every summer and fall in years past. I have not yet perfected the art of outdoor blogging (although I managed pretty well in Barbados, I must admit).
Reading – as predicted, I blew past my GoodReads goal of 50 books this year easily a few weeks ago. GoodReads tells me I am 36 books ahead of schedule at 59/50 books read. Next year, I have to at least double this way-too modest goal. Clearly.
Mindfulness – I have been doing a lot of what I call micro-meditations. That is, multiple daily pausings to draw my attention to the present moment and savour it. But not so much butt on the zafu as I was hoping. Still, I am pleased that I am practicing mindfulness on a daily basis.
Financial Security – oooh, doggie! There has been a lot of change in this area. In April, I made a life-changing decision that I can’t really talk about on ye old blogge yet, but it is one that is good for me and I am very happy about it. All will be revealed eventually but unfortunately not any time soon. This has necessitated a change in my financial goals for this year. I have stopped paying down extra on my rental business demand loan for the time being. I am finally heeding my accountant’s advice to not be in such a hurry to pay this down as this debt is very good for my tax situation, and my 2017 tax refund proved him right once again. So I am focusing on optimizing my future monthly cash flow by working on my line of credit instead. I used this credit line for last summer’s renovation – and I locked it in at a much lower interest rate so it was not a priority for paying off ahead of schedule. But not anymore ‘cos Mama’s got a brand new plan.
Intuitive Processes – I am getting better at listening to that still, small voice. My heart voice. The one I usually ignore in favour of my head voice. Using the Tarot is helping. A lot.
The question was money-related, about the future. The cards tell me to size up the situation, get to the point and be completely honest; that I will be able to make my dreams real; and that I am resisting change that is truly needed. Yup, I was.
Health – I have stopped trying to diet, and more importantly, fretting about the need to diet. I eat what I please, when I’m hungry. And guess what, my weight is still about the same – I might even be down a pound or two. But now I truly enjoy my food and I have more time and mental energy to think about fun stuff instead of feeling bad over what I am shoving down my pie hole (or not). So, hoorah for intuitive eating! Although I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I am tempted to go back to restrictive eating whenever I read a “success story”. Then I remember that those successes are just snapshots in time, and a year from now that person will likely have put all the weight back on (and more). I’ve seen it happen to people I know over and over again. Hell, I’m one of them!
I’ve also been very consistent on making sure I move my body – achieving over 10,000 steps almost every day for the past 2 months. My energy levels are nice and high, as a result. And my stamina has improved as well. I keep meaning to add a regular weight lifting routine to my week but haven’t yet made a habit of this. So that is an area that needs my attention during this next quarter.
Speaking of enjoying my food: getting ready to munch on a lovely “zakje patat” (sack of fries) with mayonnaise (Dutch street food) for din-dins after earning another medal for walking 5 km per night for 4 nights at the 4-Day/Evening Walk event, in Dundas. (I couldn’t finish it and chucked the bottom quarter in the waste receptacle. I was out of mayo by that point anyway 😉 .)7 years of completing this annual event. Unfortunately this was the last year this event will be held.
Art – I’ve been roughing out a bunch of ideas in my notebook but not doing a lot on canvas. This weekend is supposed to be kinda rainy so I’m planning on painting. I got my weekly blog post done early so as to free up time for this. Wish me luck!
What about you? How are you doing with respect to your intentions (if you made any) for 2018, at this half-way point in the year?
In the summer, I like to hit the road. Whether for a few hours, a day, or a weekend – the long, temperate days and good driving conditions make it a joy to range further afield.
I have plans for taking much longer road trips, once I am retired. I wrote about that here (during last year’s A-Z Challenge), and also here.
I am still thinking about this almost daily and flip-flopping between a trailer to pull behind me or a small RV (when I am not calculating how many nights’ stay in motel rooms would come close to the cost of either of these options – even second-hand). 😉
I am fortunate that my home is zoned commercial/residential, which means I can park a trailer or RV year-round on my property, even though I am in town – I checked with the by-law officer a few years ago.
My fantasy rig has me road tripping in full-on glamping style:
Like this.Or this.And the exterior looks something like this, on my fantasy trailer.And then there’s the fantasy RV.Fantasy RV interior.
So far my pros and cons list for each type looks something like this:
Small trailer Pros
Roomier
Can leave at campsite while using vehicle to explore surrounding area
Better for extended stays somewhere
Small trailer Cons
Have to learn to tow
Entering/leaving my driveway will be difficult (incline, and on busy street)
Need bigger vehicle than I currently own, in order to tow even the tiniest trailer
Camping Van Pros
Can fit in regular parking space
Easier to drive and manoeuvre
Better for trips in which only planning to stay 1-2 nights max in each place
Can rent one to try out before I buy
Camping Van Cons
Now I have to own and maintain 2 motor vehicles
Have to pack up the campsite every time I need to go to town or do some local exploring
Less space to move around in
I’m currently leaning towards the camping van, as I envision my first few years of road trips will be more driving around than staying in one place. Perhaps I could pack a bike or an electric scooter, for local exploring.
No matter what I decide upon, once I am retired I can chase summer year-round….Canadian road-tripping in the summer, and heading south of the border in the winter.
What about you? Is road-tripping your thing too? Any thoughts or advice to share? What would you choose – a trailer or an RV?
Rock on,
The WB
Can you guess my theme for this year’s A-Z Challenge? All of my A-Z posts this month will be tied into my theme, which is represented by the title of a song that was popular when I was a child. Can you figure it out as the days (and posts) go by? Leave your guesses (one per day only, please) in the comments. At the end of the challenge, I will reveal the theme. Have fun!
Yesterday being the first day of Spring, I took stock of where I was at with respect to the intentions I set at the Winter Solstice. Seemed like an appropriate date, after all.
This is where I initially put them, on Ye Olde Blogge: here
So here is where I am at, as of this week:
Blogging – 100% at posting at least once per week (Yay!). I am having slow but steady success at connecting with other like-minded bloggers/readers, which suits an introvert like me just fine. Quality over quantity, I say.
Reading – Thanks in no small part to 2 glorious weeks reading on the beach in Barbados (A book a day, people. A. Book. A. Day.), I am already at 30 books. My goal for this year is 50 books. Should be a slam-dunk. (I’m WidowBadass on GoodReads, in case you want to connect there.)
Looking up from my day’s book. This year I burned through Canadian mystery author Louise Penny’s series on Chief Inspector Armand Gamache. Recommended.
Mindfulness – I’m not meditating as much as I think I should be/could be doing. Since my winter holiday, I have fallen off the daily meditation wagon. This will be corrected!
Financial Security – I have a goal for this year to pay down an additional 10% of my humongous demand loan, on top of my regularly scheduled payments towards it. As of this week, I am 27% of the way towards that 10% number! Which is right on track for this quarter – even a tick ahead! How am I achieving this money mastery, you may be asking? Well, let me tell ya! By logging all of my discretionary spending (to gain awareness and accountability), and by the old cowboy trick of doubling my money by folding it in half and sticking it back into my pocket instead of spending it. Oh ho ho. Also I gave up cable (I don’t watch enough TV to make it worthwhile) and I no longer go to the salon twice a month to get my (once acrylic) nails done. Yep. I am au naturel – a veritable woodland goddess. And I’m back to scrutinizing grocery store purchases instead of throwing whatever takes my fancy (looking at you, cherries in winter at $9.99 per pound!) into my cart. And I’m brown-bagging it almost daily. Like in the bad old days. Little savings that really add up. Every payday I go to the bank and make a lump sum payment on the demand loan – and that, my friends, is satisfying beyond belief because it goes directly against the principal.
Intuitive Processes – become proficient at Tarot. Like Mindfulness, I’ve let this go a bit since coming back from Barbados. I was working with the cards daily but then I stopped and can’t figure out why. Something else to improve upon.
Health – Oh boy, I have been doing a lot of thinking about this one. Also plenty of moving around (Yay!). I exceeded 10K steps most days despite all that laying around like a beer drinking slug reading I did in Barbados. My blogger friend Karen, of Profound Journey, made an excellent post about Intuitive Eating a few weeks back. I remembered that I used to own a copy of that book when it first came out. Since dieting has not worked for me (*cough*anybody*cough*), and I’ve been exemplifying the definition of insanity for many years, by doing the same thing – dieting – over and over again, and expecting a different result, I was moved to repurchase this book AND the workbook. I’m working through the exercises in the book and allowing my body to tell me what to eat and when to eat it. I can’t fail at this any worse than I have failed at dieting, I figure.
My body has been telling me I want this. I’ve rekindled a long-lost love for “elevenses” – specifically, hot milky tea (or coffee) with a couple of these (OK, OK…sometimes four) biscuits. Damn fine, I say. Which carbs-watching, grains-scoffing, dieting me would never have allowed myself to have. At least not without a shit-ton of guilt.
I’m also still doing the mindful yoga and the Jessica Smith YouTube videos. I’ve recently added her workouts with free weights and also some balance work. This may sound a bit strange, but I’ve always loved working out with weights. And like most things I enjoy, I rarely make time for them. WTF? Why??? See also meditation, and tarot, and…
Art – I have to mark myself as “needs improvement” for this intention, too. I even brought a small sketchbook and pencil with me to Barbados but never so much as doodled the whole 2 weeks I was on vacation. See “A. Book. A. Day.”, above.
So there it is. I’ve taken my inventory and given myself good marks for blogging, reading, financial security and physical activity. I need to step it up with respect to mindfulness, tarot and art. Health is a mixed bag. Good marks for exercising. Still weigh the same as I did at the Winter Solstice.
One of the thrills for me on my recent trip to Barbados was meeting and being greeted by a dog during my morning beach/boardwalk strolls.
I didn’t meet a lot of dogs on the island but there were 2 (accompanied by their owners) that I saw a few times in the early hours of the day. One was quite elderly and it was sad and painful to watch it hobble along the beach beside its ever watchful mistress.
I was thrilled beyond measure when this dog went out of its way to greet me one morning. It even pressed itself against my leg while I was petting it. Swoon!
This encounter flared up the pilot light of my dog-love furnace. So much so that I have started stalking area humane society adopt-a-dog pages, my thinking being that I could adopt an older dog NOW, that wouldn’t need so much care and training as a new puppy (my original “someday when I am retired” plan).
Unfortunately any suitable dogs I found (in terms of small size and being less allergenic i.e. non-shedding) were loaded with lots of baggage. There were 2 rescues from a puppy mill – neither were house-trained, or knew how to walk on a leash, and one was blind. The recommendations from the humane society were that these dogs needed to be brought into homes that already had a dog, to show them how to be a pet.
Then there was another little fellow, who was used to living in an apartment, whose owner passed away. He needed expensive daily medication to be administered and was prone to seizures. I thought yeah, there’s potential there…and then I saw that his adoption was pending. OK, moving on…
Moving on, there was nothing else that would have been suitable for my home and current lifestyle. Which I guess is for the best. I don’t have a fenced yard and I live downtown, in a second floor apartment.
I also have a jam-packed year in terms of work projects on my plate. Which means there will even more days when I have to leave early/work late, and come in on weekends to get caught up on regular work. Activities not conducive to pet ownership. Especially not pets that need extra care. Like rescues or a new puppy.
Yet, for a few brief moments, I thought this could be my Year of the Dog.
Oh, I’ll probably keep stalking those Humane Society web pages, but I doubt I’ll find that perfect low-maintenance, non-shedding little dog of my dreams. She already exists, but only in my dreams.
Yesterday was Lucy’s birthday. She would have been 18.
Things have calmed down a lot since last weekend’s unexpected appendectomy for my daughter. Mizz J is getting a bit better each day, and is ready to resume normal life again as an MSW student, after a solid week of recuperation. And I’ve been able to pay attention once again, to what I want to achieve for 2018.
Health
I am so excited to report that I’ve been able to resume working out again! Last spring, I had a bit of trouble with my thyroid, that kept me unable to exercise. The few times I did try left me feeling exhausted, dizzy and nauseous. (The last time I felt nauseous, I was about to have a TIA, so understandably I was nervous and wanted to stay away from anything that incurred this feeling.)
This week I got up the courage to try a few online workouts (with Mizz J only a couple of rooms away, in case I got into some sort of trouble…hehehe). Nothing too challenging – a 10 minute weights workout and a 16 minute walking workout. Having achieved these with no issues, I attempted AND completed a 36 minute cardio and strength workout last evening. Woo hoo!!!!
I really like Jessica Smith and her approach to exercise. I love her walk and talks…and I especially love Peanut, the French bulldog. That dog snoozing through her videos is what drew me in, in the first place! Peanut makes me laugh and want to keep going.
So that’s where I am at, at working on my Health goals for 2018. A very good start.
Financial Security
I made my first lump sum payment on my building’s demand loan this week. Unfortunately this is not something I can do online so I guess I’ll be heading to TD every payday to do this in person. It wasn’t a huge payment, but it goes directly on the principal and over the course of a year, it will certainly add up!
I also created a discretionary spending log, in Excel. With a tab for each month (and a line for each day) and spending targets for each category, to keep me on track. I LOVE data, and actually enjoy capturing it in this format. I especially love the days where I spend NOTHING. Not sure why I haven’t done this sooner….oh wait, maybe because I was too busy rebuilding my life for the past 4 years? Yeah, pretty sure that was it. 🙂
Art
What’s on my desk in the studio at the moment
I was inspired by a quote I received in a newsletter from Jessica Smith this week: Begin with the end in mind. Karen, from Profound Journey, a lovely blogger friend that I follow, says it’s from Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Which I do have a copy of, somewhere in Chez Badass. I shall put it on the Re-Read list!
So, to begin with the end in mind means to me it’s time to draft an idea for a painting to represent what I want to become by the end of 2018. Since the Queen of Wands filled that role in my Winter Solstice tarot spread, it seemed natural to me to work on a painting of that grand dame.
Close up of first shitty draft of sketch
You’ll see from the previous photo, that I took my inspiration from an Alphonse Mucha illustration I found on the internet. I have loved Mucha since I first discovered his works as a teenager. It took me a moment to realize his model was giving the viewer the finger (intentionally or not), which made me love it even more and need to incorporate into my hasty sketch.
My Queen of Wands is saying “Oh, do you not like what you are seeing? You can’t handle my self-assuredness, strength and vitality? I’m done with trying to appear small to coddle insecure fools and their egos. So, fuck you very much.”
Obviously I have a lot of work to do with this before I can transfer it to a canvas. Those 4 scrawly things surrounding the circle are supposed to be sunflowers, for instance. But it’s a good therapy shitty first draft. 😉
And, also because I have my upcoming (less than a month away!) vacation trip to Barbados on the back burner of my mind, sea turtles keep popping up:
Sea Turtle on Watercolour Paper – as yet incomplete
Mindfulness
I’ve been focusing on mindful yoga and stretching this week. And mini-meditations, and pausing to notice.
Reading
Borrowed 2 books from the library this past week and finished one: Anansi Boys, by Neil Gaiman. Now working on Lev Grossman’s The Magicians. Three books completed already towards my 2018 goal of 50 books read!
Intuitive Processes – Tarot
I’ve been pulling a card every day and interpreting its meaning for me, before I look it up in one of my Tarot books. An enjoyable part of my morning routine.
And, looking for inspiration for my Queen of Wands painting led me down the Alphonse Mucha Google rabbit hole. Which led me to the Mucha Tarot. Which is speeding it’s way towards me, as I type, via Amazon.ca.
Looking forward to receiving even more artistic and intuitive inspiration, from these cards!
2017 was a calm and pleasant year in my personal life (as opposed to an exciting yet challenging year in my work life), for which I am so grateful. I wish every year could be 2017. I didn’t lose anyone this past year. (Not in 2016 either, although my mother’s death in late December 2015 was so close to that year that I felt its reverberations throughout those 12 months anyways.)
2017 was the year of REACH (my word). This applied mainly to my creating art. This was the first year that I applied a great deal of focus and effort in this area since I was a teenager. And reach I did! It was difficult to push past my insecurities and inner critic, and just start laying paint down on canvas. It was a reach to allow myself to fail over and over again. This painting in particular (which I can reveal now, as it has gone to its recipient) was very uncomfortable for me to create, and thus a definite REACH:
Horse, 2017
I went to Mark Grice’s studio in Alton Mills to create this painting. I chose it because I knew it was going to be difficult for me to paint a horse AND in non-horse colours. I’m not good (yet) at so many things artists need to know and excel at, but with Mark’s guidance this painting came together. And Mizzus J loves it. She said it looks like Gavin, one of her two horses. What more can I ask for?
I finished out 2017 with this painting, completed yesterday:
My intention for 2018’s art is to continue on my artist’s journey. I met an artist whose work I admired, at her studio in Bayfield 2 summers ago. When I asked her how to become a better painter, she said something that has stuck with me every since: “Just paint. Everyday.” Simple, no?
I have signed up for another online Mandala art course, hosted by Julie Gibbons: Mandala Days. Unlike Mandala Magic (the course I participated in, in 2017), this course is for creating actual pieces, not art journalling. Which is just up my alley, as I discovered this past year.
Other intentions involve:
Blogging – posting at least once per week on Ye Olde Blogge; find other like-minded bloggers/readers (my tribe, as it were) to connect with
Reading – increase reading for pleasure – my goal is 50 books. (I’m WidowBadass on GoodReads, in case you want to connect there)
Mindfulness – increase mindfulness in my life through activities such as meditation
Financial Security – becoming intentional about rapidly paying down the debt I am carrying on Chez Badass – debt I incurred by investing in much-needed improvements over the past 4 years
Intuitive Processes – become proficient at Tarot, because:
I believe that it is a good tool to help one develop and strengthen intuition and lead to insights – and help get in touch with yearnings/feelings that are buried deep within one’s self. So I performed a Celtic Cross spread at the Winter Solstice this year, to help me in planning for 2018:
Celtic Cross Spread, for guidance for the coming year
I was really surprised when the cards told me that:
I have to focus on my health or ignore at my peril (5 of Pentacles) Having failed at this many times in the past 4 years, I didn’t want to write it down or even think about it as an intention for the coming year!
I have the inner resources to do this. (Ace of Swords)
I can come up with solutions, and to believe in myself and focus on success. (Page of Wands)
My past is full of grief and regret and the belief I made wrong choices. No, duh. (5 of Cups)
Renewing health; creating harmony and balance is the goal. (Temperance)
Unresolved factor affecting my success – my inner “carb monster” (bondage); doubts that I can succeed. (Devil)
I need to delve into why I haven’t been able to get any traction towards improving my health. (6 of Pentacles)
Be the person others see you as: Adept, Reliable, Steady, Supporting. (King of Pentacles)
Guidance, Hopes and Fears, Beliefs, Values – I am afraid of attracting attention from men as I lose weight and become fitter. I don’t want to have to deal with this. There. I said it. Valid or not, it is a fear of mine. (The Lovers)
The outcome (when I am successful in achieving this goal) – Vibrancy, Energy, Cheerfulness, Self-assurance. (Queen of Wands)
So, an added intention for me for 2018 is to improve my health through self-caring activities including strength, flexibility and stamina-building activities, and nutritious food choices.
My word for 2018 is PERCEIVE. To understand, to become aware, to become conscious, to use intuitive judgement.
I think I may have mentioned on Ye Olde Blogge a time or hundred that every year I struggle with our North American commercialization/celebration of Christmas. It has become much too materialistic and in-your-face for yours truly.
This season has become instead a time of reflection and review and planning for me as the nights get longer and longer. And I love this time of year for that!
TRIGGER WARNING: If someone holding a different opinion than your own could lead to you turning into a Judgey McJudgepants and leaving a nasty comment, please skip over this next section. If you feel you must take a tone with me, your comment may or may not be deleted, depending on how much of a chuckle I get out of it.
Oh sure, I partake in some Christian Christmas rites. It’s part of my upbringing and my history. I put up a tree. I send out cards to friends and family. I re-watch old Christmas movies and sing along to carols. I even do the gift thing, although more and more I am giving gifts that are homemade – gifts of my time and intention. I love to wish people a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year AND I mean it. I do these things because I enjoy them and I like celebrating this season (this month, especially) of long nights and waiting for the sun to return.
I am not a Christian, so there is no religious meaning to my celebration. You won’t find a manger scene at my house. But I will haul out the Seashell Jesus, because I find it amusing. I think I’ll put it next to the picture of Krampus my talented son made for me. For balance. Someday maybe I’ll add a representation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the mix, and my triptych of mythical beings will be complete. Ramen!
If you are reading this and a practicing Christian/Jew/Wiccan/Pagan/Hindu/Zoroastrian/Muslim/WhateverReligion, great! You do you. Whatever gives you comfort and meaning is cool with me. Please return the favour.
TRIGGER WARNING OVER.
What I am celebrating at Chez Badass is this: the end of the darkness and the return of the light. Because the longest night – tonight – the winter solstice (the official start of Yule or Yuletide) – is something I can get behind.
I do so love this rock we live on – the natural world – and the turning of the year, and I like to acknowledge this event. And this is the time and the season for me to pause and reflect and set intentions for the next spin around the sun that I am lucky enough to be a part of.
This is nothing new. Humans have been celebrating the solstice since well, we first noticed it was “a thing”. And these Yule celebrations have been co-opted into Christianity and have become integral to the Western celebration called Christmas.
For my particular celebration of the longest night, I will lighting (many, many) candles and finalizing my goals and intentions for the coming year. These include, in no particular order of importance (because they are all important to me):
more artistic activity
more mindfulness
more writing – specifically, more blogging
more reading
less spending – in order to knock down the demand loan on Chez Badass
I’ll be going into each of these goals in detail in upcoming blog posts. Yule see, hehehe!
I will leave you with this thought – at this special time of year why not remember to:
