Pay Attention When You Have a Violent Reaction to Something

On Friday I made a post of some favourite Canadian music artists  of mine. I deliberately left off one very talented artist because of one song that just makes me gnash my teeth whenever I hear it.

City and Colour – The Girl. Go ahead and take a listen. I’ll be here when you come back.

A lot of people love this song. They think it is tender and romantic. It makes my blood boil.

Dallas Green sings: You sacrifice so much of your life in order for this to work.

And: If you were to leave; fulfil someone else’s dreams, I think I might totally be lost.

I end up mentally (or actually, if I’m alone) screaming whenever this song comes on the radio:

Oh yeah, what about her own fucking dreams, huh?! Why is The Girl’s only purpose to fulfil someone else’s dreams? What about her own dreams? Why does she have to sacrifice so much of her own fucking life to make the relationship work? Where is your sacrifice, Dude?!?!

Lately I’ve been thinking about this violent reaction I have to what most people would say is a gentle and loving tribute to someone in the artist’s life.

If you’re acquainted with this blog or know me in person, you’re probably shaking your head right now and thinking it’s so bloody obvious. And yes, it is to me now. I hate the lyrics in this song because It. Is. About. Me.

I’m the one who sacrificed her own dreams for most of my adult life to support the two husbands I committed to. Men who either were or would have been totally lost (at least temporarily) when/if I left.

So I’m furious with this song because it reminds me that I alone allowed this to happen. I willingly drank the Kool-Aid. And I’m still not at peace with myself for doing this. Although it is getting better.

A valuable lesson for me to remember: that when I have a violent reaction to something that doesn’t warrant that much emotion there is some inner work I need to do.

My apologies to City and Colour for omitting them from my Friday post. It’s not you; it’s me. Really.

Rock on,

The WB



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