About the Widow


Self-portrait of a Badass Widow,  MBA Graduation Night 2016

January 19, 2017 Update

Once upon a time I started blogging about my life and thoughts. I would start a little blog, make a couple of posts and then forget about it.

I became serious about it in the year leading up to my wedding in 2010 (The Next Year of My Life). I wanted to capture all of my thoughts and moments as I prepared to marry for the 2nd time, at my advanced bridal age of 51. I called myself Mizz D.

I decided I liked it so much I kept blogging after the wedding. Soon I had created my very own space on the web (Hete Bliksem). Then, in 2012 my husband and I adopted an ancestral diet with great success and in February 2013 I created yet another blog (Primal of Life), with the intention of focusing more on the benefits of eating clean, whole foods. Made two, count ’em, two whole new posts on that particular blog.

Meanwhile, outside of cyberspace, my husband had developed this nagging cough that just wouldn’t go away since he became violently ill with the flu on New Year’s Day, 2013. In fact, it kept getting worse. On May 2 (the day after his 54th birthday) we learned that it was Stage 4 Lung Cancer. No, he never smoked.

What followed was a blur of doctor visits, diagnostic procedures, hospitalizations, medication schedules, and research, research, research. I can’t tell you much of what the summer of 2013 was like. Was it even hot and sunny? I do remember wearing certain summer outfits to work and to the hospital so it must have been.

On November 14, despite the praying, the hoping, and the religious adherence to the latest and greatest advice on how to outsmart this cancer thing, my darling husband succumbed to his disease. And I became a widow at age 54, after barely 3 years of marriage to my soul mate. (Yeah, that sounds pretty cliché, doesn’t it? Soul mate, huh? But he really was that, for me.)

Then a couple of months after his death – while I was trying to dig out from the (literally) tons of crap he left behind – I came across some printouts of emails between JD and a woman. Turns out my darling husband, my soul mate, had been cheating on me with at least one other woman during our relationship AND while we were living together. Turns out she thought he was single and was convinced they had a future together. I logged onto his computer, did some digging and found out this had gone on for 18 months. She found out about me and kicked him to the curb but didn’t think I needed to be informed. And of course HE didn’t come clean about it either. So our relationship continued unabated and we proceeded to get married.

And his OCD got worse and I was put through more and more hell as a result. But, as I was kept in the dark about the cheating and other things, I stood by my man. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, right?

So, it’s been a few years now since he passed. I have settled into AND am LOVING my new life.  I have never been happier. All’s well that end’s well, right? Except that the story is far from ended. In a lot of ways, I feel my story, my life is just beginning!

Due to all that I have been through, I find I have developed a wee bit of a no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners attitude in my dealings with my life and this world. I like it. I call my alter-ego, this new persona: The Widow Badass.

Signed, the Artist Formerly Known As Mizz D…currently living la vida loca as:

The Widow Badass



  • I came across your blog by way of a comment on a blog we both follow. I had to check it out as anyone with that name “widow badass” is definitely someone worth reading, right there.

    Heartbreaking to read about the tragic premature interruption of life. My heart truly goes out to you…. So very sorry for your loss. So very sad. But how wonderful to have had true love even if for a short period of time…


    • Hey thanks Peta. Sorry for the tardy reply but for some reason I did not get notification of your comment and I have been neglecting ye olde blogge for some time now.
      But now I’m back, at least for the month of November. Thanks again for your sweet words!

  • Hi! Just visiting from NaBloPoMo and decided to check out your about pages first. I think we must be soul sisters because so much of what you said resonates deeply with me. I’m not a widow, but I do have two failed marriages behind me, and, much to my surprise, have discovered that I LOVE being on my own. I can’t wait to read your blog as I get more settled into my own!

    • Rock your bad self on, Kim! Thanks for visiting, and thanks for the comment!

  • Hi Deb. After I saw your lovely comment on my new role with the Changing Seasons challenge, I had to pop over and try to get to know you a bit.
    And wow! What a shitty bunch of stuff to happen. But I’m really glad you’ve come through it stronger and in a better place.
    I love your blog name and am looking forward to seeing more of your posts (including The Changing Seasons I hope).

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